Monday, June 28, 2010

Graduation Day (Warning Explic*t Language)

Well folks....the day has come. Doc sensitive and I have finished residency! Last night was our graduation, and today we turned in all of our shit.

I would like to say a few words about what a wonderful experience residency was....but I can't think of anything. Residency fucking sucked ass! It was years of abuse disguised as "learning experiences." Most of our attendings sucked. Our patients sucked the life out of us. We were overworked and underpaid. My motto in residency was "No good dead at this hospital goes unpunished." It was the truth. Anytime you tried to help someone/something out... you would get screwed.

It was great seeing our "Chairman" at the graduation. What a real fucking inspiration this guy was. He inspired all of us to be nothing like him. He never worked clinically. Once he asked me what was in Lortab. He wasn't pimping me....he really didn't know. He pretty much just sat in a chair all 3 years getting fatter. He only got up if a TV camera was around.

The worst part was dealing with other residents. Not our co ER residents, but residents from other departments (surgery, ortho, internal medicine, etc.). Yes most of them were assholes at heart, but residency brings out the worst in EVERYONE. Because we are all tired and stressed, everyone is in a bad mood. Everyone would try to turf their work to someone else. Making a consult was horrible. No one listens to the needs of the patient, they are "listening" to see what they can do to get out of the consult and turf it to someone else.

I didn't learn shit the traditional way. There was no "see one, do one, teach one" bull shit. No reading in books and being taught by an attending and then putting that knowledge to work. The attending told you what to do and that was it.... because they were worried about their license and that's it.

I learned by seeing other people fuck up, and by my own fuck ups, and by my iPhone and google. Never in med school or residency did I read a text book! It's bullshit. Whatever is in a text book is about 5 years out of date. The way I learned the most, and the source of most of my posts, was through moonlighting. It was being on my own where I looked something up on EVERY patient and find my way. In residency it was just do what each individual attending told us to do.

The most I every worked was 30 hours straight on trauma. Sometimes I wouldn't know what day or month it was. I must have aged 15 years in my 3 years of residency. I look like shit. I can't count how many times I was stab in the back or used up and spit out.

What about psych doc??? Psych is a 4 year residency, so he was 1 more year of pain and suffering. Please pray for him to whatever god you choose.

The best part of residency was the few good friends I made.....and then finishing. We are done. No rest for the weary.....start work tomorrow. Where are we going you might ask?? Only about5 miles down the road! Doc sensitive and I will be working together. We are going to another busy trauma center. Very high acuity....higher than we had in residency. No uppity patients for us. We like to take care of sick patients, and those patients usually don't have a Humana Gold Card. Time to practice our way. Never have I been more scared!

-ER Doc



WhiteCoat said...

Just don't stop blogging.
Now go out there and break a leg ... or a clavicle ... or an eyeball or something.
Won't it be cool being able to order around Psych Doc because he's still a resident?

SerenityNow said...

Haha. He's still my senior....and my best can't boss him around. I'll leave that to his wife!

-ER Doc

Jessica said...

Congrats on graduation! I'm actually the opposite just starting my intern yr in EM. Hope you intend to keep blogging!

SerenityNow said...

Jessica, good luck. If you have any survival questions feel free to email. Don't take the bad things we say too serious! You'll do great
-ER Doc

Susan said...

Congrats on finishing residency! Just remember to be nice to the nurses. :)

Lou said...

Congrats! Thank God for Google and on-line resources.

Keep blogging pleeeeeze!

Chrysalis Angel said...

I wish you the best of luck as you embark on your chosen profession. Congratulations!

Josiah O. Morris said...

Well done! I've really enjoyed the blog and hope that it will continue.

Congratulations, guys!!

SerenityNow said...

Yes, the blog will continue

-er doc

Anonymous said...

love your blog. thanks for the honest post. Congratulations on making it to the next step. Faithful reader -HW

tracy said...

Congratulations! :)

You even survived the "Cyber Trolls" ( me! )

Love the cloud picture and " good DEAD goes unpunished....."

Best to you always.

Anonymous said...


sara said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! and YAY. glad you will be keeping the blog up.

Cat said...

Congrats on finishing one hellacious phase of your life and starting a new one.

I'm about to start my third year of med school. Thanks for keeping it honest.

Melissa said...

Congratulations on a job well done! I think you will both be excellent physicians. :)

ERP said...

I remember finishing and feeling like chugging a bottle of wine and passing out somewhere!
I agree, I moonlight my last year (my program was 4 years) and it taught me a crap-load too.
However, I look back at residency as one of those "better in hindsight" moments in my life. I learned to multi-task and to deal with sick-as-hell patients.
I really do feel you need to have a hard residency. I know ER docs from cushy programs that really can't handle sick patients and just call a million consults. Hell, some of them never intubate or put in lines! Please!
Congrats again. Now, tell us about your first solo shift. I remember CRAPPING myself on that one.....

Anonymous said...

Honest, but scary somethings got to give. Remember this when you become an attending!!!!

SerenityNow said...


- You are absolutely right. You HAVE to have residency. It did suck, but I know every residency does. There is no way to become a competent emergency physician without a good residency. I have witnessed the opposite in my moonlighting with some other docs. Even the best programs (which supposedly mine is one of), will suck. It is part of the process. There is no way to learn how to multitask, do procedures, move the meat, deal with death, etc without residency. But if we are going to go through it might as well keep it real and exaggerate a little on how bad it is on the blog.

-ER Doc

moomag said...

Sorry you found your residency so tough. Maybe you should find a new profession. I can only hope and pray I don't end up having you or anyone else with your horrible attitude in the ER. Maybe you could become a ditch digger. From this post you certainly don't show any aptitude as a physician.

Shash said...

Congratulations to both of you for staying the course and making it to the end of residency.

Please keep blogging. Your posts are an education to the health insurance folks around me.

ERP said...

Right. And look at it this way. Your residency has provided you with crap-loads of top notch blog material! The shittier the place you do it, the better the material!

The other thing is that when you see those tool-bag attendings at reunion functions, you can just tell them you disagree with their management of X and not just have to nod in agreement.

Joni said...

Aww congrats to you both! You've both worked HARD, LONG, GRUELING hours and it was all worth it in the end to just say you FINISHED! Which is more than some students who started did! Congratulations! How exciting. Way to go on getting new jobs right away too. Been reading the blog for a while and still enjoy it. Thank you for bringing a lil' excitment to the end of my busy days in the office. Congrats again!

Nurse K said...

Good blogging move getting a job at the same hospital as blogging pal to prevent blog death.

We, whose blogs have died, salute you!

Anonymous said...

You guys are funny and truthful but you really really have a bad attitude. I would never want to show up in your Trauma room. Take a long vacation if you can, start loving humanity and yourself again. If you can't do that...get a new profession. I know you've put in some long years but you can work for a pharmaceutical company or be one of those hateful administrators...just don't take care of people.