Friday, April 3, 2009

Cock Rings








40 year old man came in by EMS with chief complaint of "cock ring being stuck." He was in a ton of distress. This gentleman had put his penis and testicles through the cock ring. Of course....he said it was his girlfriends idea. They were being intimate, and at some point they had a fight and he didn't get to finish. That's when he noticed it was stuck.

This was no regular cock ring, if there is suck a thing. This thing was huge, and made of metal. It had been stuck for 13 HOURS before he called EMS. He had been trying to saw it off all day to avoid going to the ER. So all day his penis and testicles had been swelling and getting larger and larger. This guy was in a TON of distress. I have never seen testicles so swollen. They were probably the size of cantaloupes. I really thought he would loose function down there.

So we called maintenance and got a saw. We put some plastic between his testicles and the ring to avoid burning, and started sawing. This was some heavy duty metal. It was quite a scene. I was sawing, and about 3 nurses were fanning him down with water, holding his balls, pouring cold water on his balls, etc.

After about 2 hours of trying in the ER, this poor pervert tired out from all the pain and stress. He ended up going to emergency surgery b/c he couldn't take it anymore. They put him down and used a heavy duty saw they had in the OR, and afterwards he did quiet well.

I don't know much about cock rings, but if they make plastic ones it might be a good idea to go with that over metal.

-ER Doc

20 comments:

Nurse K said...

You couldn't use the ring cutter?

NurseExec said...

Just found your blog...love it!

Sabra said...

Um, wow. Most I've come across are plastic or rubber. That makes me sound much sluttier than I am. That's really a fetish piece there.

Trust us....we're doctors said...

Tried that...ring cutter didn't leave a dent. This was some very strong metal. Had one the week before this case and the ring cutter worked great. ER Doc

little d, S.N. said...

Damn...never seen one of those before! Not industrial strength...who the hell thought that was a good idea?

Lou said...

I had a guy use his keys for a cock ring. True story. Came in with his pants jangling...house key, car key, car alarm remote, the whole bit.

It had been stuck for over 12 hours. Couldn't get the thing cut with what we had in the ER so we sent the EMT over to Home Depot to get a saw and got it removed nicely. Dude was lucky. That time. Yeah, he was back a week later with a standard cock ring stuck on there. He was embarrassed and had waited so long to come in this time that he had Fournier's and was septic. Never heard what happened to him and his parts, but I bet he didn't have much left for a cock ring to get stuck on again... Sad.

Kipper said...

I had a friend who bought one of these for some reason and kept it on the gear shift of his car. No word on whether it ever got put to its intended use, but if it did he always managed to get it off again...

The Bus Driver said...

oddly enough i bet thats not the strangest thing thats come through your ER. LOL

MOST people scare me.

Anonymous said...

Granted my patients aren't human, but their owner's sure put some funky metal stuff on them. I would recommend a set of bolt cutters. They don't have any trouble cutting through pad locks, so a cock ring would be a piece of cake.

williamthecoroner said...

They make them in leather, plastic, and metal. Some folks like the weight and shine.

xtine said...

No sympathy.

Anyone into this kind of thing knows that education and preparation are as important as consent.

And they'd have known to
1) pick the right size
2) been smarter about it

Maybe shame will keep him/her from getting in over their head next time?

Anonymous said...

Maybe next time he should try a shower curtain ring. At least it has a "release" latch on it.

SeaSpray said...

I don't get it. Why use these things?

Then I don't get the stoma either.

GuitarGirlRN said...

there are two things people should always keep in mind:

No metal cock rings

and

Never stick anything up your ass that doesn't have a wide, flanged base, because your asshole sucks.

Anonymous said...

Add a pair of bolt cutters to the ED they come in handy!

StorytellERdoc said...

LOL Great stories! Makes me kind of queasy from a guy perspective! Well written and nice job.

Just started my own blog last week. If you get a chance, check it out!

I will be following.

Anonymous said...

LMAO! We have the same story where I work - first presentation that is. Except instead of sending him to OR they ended up calling 911.
Thankfully it was my week off!

Kudos on the nursing home post. It's clear you guys really care.
And way to shut up the non-ER initiated. Don't let them get to you.

Roozter

Sildenafil Citrate said...

Wow I gotta say this is an incredible idea I've never used this but it could be perfect, in fact my friend Sildenafil Citrate recommended me some others tips.

Anonymous said...

Should try one from <a href="http://www.motorcycleadventuremap.com/pcr2.html>Perfect Cock Ring </a>
Perfect fit is guaranteed and quick easy to remove
Enjoy,
Joe

Anonymous said...

Should try one from "The Perfect Cock Ring" http://www.motorcycleadventuremap.com/pcr2.html
Perfect fit is guaranteed...quick and easy to remove.
Enjoy,
Joe