Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Pregnant and Not Pregnant

Lonnnnnggg day today. Sent 8 to the ICU. But in the middle of it all there were some humerus things to share.

1: Pregnant

A 25 year old pregnant lady. Why is that humerus?? Well it was more messed up than funny I guess. This was her 11th pregnancy! She was G11/P6/A4...which means 11 total pregnancies including her new one, 6 that were born, and 4 abortions or miscarriages. I recommended a tubal after this pregnancy. I am pretty sure she had been told that before though.

2: Not Pregnant

A 27 year old male came in after being discharged from a psych facility.
  • Me: "Do you have any medical problems?"
  • Him: "No, I just see things and hear voices."
  • Me: "Ok, what brings you into the ER today."
  • Him: "I came to get a pregnancy test."
  • Quick double check at the chart to make sure this patient was indeed a male. "Uh sir...you are a man, why are you worried about being pregnant?"
  • Him: "Well, a priest came inside me recently. He said he was baptizing me. So I thought maybe I was pregnant with Jesus."
Disposition back to psych facility!

-ER Doc

10 comments:

Omnibus Driver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Omnibus Driver said...

Humorous is a funny. Humorous humerus is a funny bone. You have one!

arzt4empfaenger said...

I'd prefer some femur things. ;-)
But seriously, so may pregnancies with 25?! I don't know what kind of woman she was, but that sounds like she needs some sex ed. Unless she's just wishing to have a big family and actually planned most of these conceptions.

The last one made me grin so much. Good one!
Keep up the good work (and hopefully enjoy some sweet free time after al this).

arzt4empfaenger said...

Grr. Serves me right for typing while lying on the bed; may = many, al = all.

(Also, eight ICU cases? Wow, sounds indeed like a really busy day/night! What's the average? )

StorytellERdoc said...

LOL...I needed that laugh this am. Darn those priests! LOL

Have a good day.

Doctor D said...

I recently had the joy of telling a dedicated lesbian that she was pregnant.

"I can't be pregnant! I've only had sex with a man once in my whole life!"

Yup, and judging by the size of your kicking abdominal mass that one time was about 5 or 6 months ago.

The father was a gay friend of hers. I guess they figured since they were gay they didn't need to use a condom. Oops!

They will make for an interesting family.

tracy said...

Ha, ha....i loved the way you spelled humerus!

SerenityNowHospital said...

yeah yeah my spelling sucks. i went with the spell check on that one and i was really tired when posting.

doctor d.....hilarious story. thats a classic

arzt....high acuity place. not usually 8 icu patients per shift though. we definately have our days, but usually 1-2 icu admits a shift.

Anonymous said...

I personally think the ulna is funnier. ;-)
-whitecap

ERP said...

Was that a voluntary receptive ejaculation pray tell?