Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Out of Trees

A 30-something guy walks into my office.

"What brings you in today?" I ask.
"I ran out of trees," he says. Then pauses.
I say, "Tell me more about that."
"I don't have any more trees to chop down."
He pauses again. He's nervous. Enough of the open-ended stuff. "Sir, can you please explain to me why you're in the psychiatric ER?"
"I used to have a lot of trees in my back yard. I used my axe to chop them all down. The voices told me to chop up people, but I figured it was better to chop down trees instead. Now I'm out of trees, and I'm worried about what I will do next."
He pauses again, then says, "Could this be because I stopped taking my Risperdal 6 months ago?"

-Psych Doc

14 comments:

Uro*MA said...

I think its a good possibility!! Hurry take this guy to a tree farm, STAT!

Maha said...

At least he wasn't so far gone as to go out and take down people. And he's still with it enough to seek help. Get the man his meds asap!

LivingDeadNurse said...

At least he was sane enough to get help b4 he started chopping people up...

Anonymous said...

Gee, ya think? At least he is redirectable.

Me said...

Anti-psychotic drugs are for wimps. LMAO.

ERP said...

Your response?
"Ummm Yes".

Steve said...

rx= more trees?

Anonymous said...

Psychiatric ERs don't have offices that patients walk into and take a seat to talk...they have confined closed rooms...more bogus garbage from the tweedle dee fantasy doctors.

Trust us....we're doctors said...

RE Anonymous:

Well...I didnt know you have been in every psych er in the country. Actually, in this psych ER there are 2 "offices" that the residents or attendings see patients in. It is a county hospital and some cant get follow up. They triage the less acute or less severe cases and the docs can see them there. It is also a better environment to talk to the patient for some brief therapy vs the big "fish tank" that the rest of the psych er is compared to. Also, patients that are seen one day might follow up with the same psych doc the next time they are on so they can check in with them.

Nice try. You think you really know medicine. Must work in the private world. Thanks for keeping up with our blog tho. You should tell us about your know it all self.

-ER Doc

Trust us....we're doctors said...

ER doc is right on. You have no idea how our ER is set up. We have offices in what would be analogous to an Urgent Care in a Medical ER.
Which brings up another point about how sick the patients in the county system really are. This guy wasn't even brought around to the locked area. Imagine how intense it is in there.
I also appreciate you following the blog. None of this stuff is made up. Sure, I might condense a 20 or 30 minute interview down to 1 or 2 paragraphs, but it's all real.

Now get over your white coat envy.

-Psych Doc

marthat said...

What a familiar story. I work in an inpatient unit for a community mental health center. Used to be an ER nurse. When reading your blog I feel like I'm in a familiar place. You guys are accurate, funny and it oh so real. You've got some better stories than me though. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Yep

Anonymous said...

i agree with steve, more trees!

Anonymous said...

I realize this blog is a year old & probably no one will see this...

But, Anon is an A**. God job cutting him down to size!

Roozter