Sunday, May 16, 2010

Rectal Exams

We have talked a lot about the rectum on this blog. From foreign body objects stuck inside to prostate's always something to talk about for a laugh.

Last week I had a 57 year old guy who needed a rectal exam to check for blood. Boy did this spark up conversation. For some reason before he would allow the exam, he wanted to talk about how no one should get married. He was on his 5th marriage, and said he was talking from experience. He then told me a story how he caught "the clap" from a girl in his 20s. He broke up with her, then saw her at a club that weekend and told her and her new boyfriend that she gave him an STD. He said a week later his doctor told him he did not have the clap....but had prostatitis.

"Ok sir....can I check your stool for blood now?"

"If you have to Doc. How far do you have to stick it in there? I never could understand how people do this for pleasure. Thank god you hands aren't bigger."

I think this guy was a closet homo....not that there's anything wrong with that. But....married 5 times, prostatitis in his 20s (shouldn't happen unless you are playing bedroom catcher), and the quotes from above set off my gaydar.

-ER Doc


Anonymous said...

I thought the same thing. You would not believe how many older closet cases I get hit on by. They are all nuts too because they are not getting the full satisfaction they need.

ERP said...

Hmmm. Probably right. However, I am pretty sure you can get prostatitis from a spreading case of epidydimitis.

Shash said...

How sad for the women he's married too. Clearly, the relationship turns out to be a disappointment to them as well.

Anonymous said...