A common phrase in the ER is "You can't fix stupid." Here are a few stupid things I have observed lately in the ER.
- A 33 year old Hispanic male came in for chest pain. I asked him what made the pain go away. He said taking his cholesterol pill took care of the pain, so it must be his heart. Yeah genius....daily cholesterol meds don't fix acute pain.
- A 29 year old female came in for pelvic pain. She could barely walk. Why? Bc on exam she had horrible herpes. She was so confused. How could she have herpes....she has only been with her husband...and there is no way he has been with anyone else! Naive.
- Patient came in with chief complaint of "my nose feels too warm."
- A 41 year old female who wanted her prescription in liquid form b/c she can't swallow pills.
- A 15 year old male who came into the ER for the 2nd time b/c when he lays flat then flexes his stomach, he see's a bulge in his lower abdomen. He was skinny. The bulge was his freaking abdominal muscle.
- An overprotective mom brings in her 9 year old son for a fever. How high? 102. She was concerned b/c he usually doesn't run 'high fevers.' Her daughter, on the other hand, always runs high fevers so she doesn't worry bout her getting a temp of 102. But mama's lil boy isn't supposed to get that hot I guess. Please.
- A 22 year old female came in b/c she had vaginal bleeding. Her last period was 2 months prior. She never took a pregnancy test, and assumed she was pregnant when she missed a month. So when she started bleeding, painlessly I might add, she came in to make sure she wasn't miscarrying. She STILL hadn't taken a home pregnancy test. We did one and it was negative. Congratulations dumb ass, you started your period.
- This brings up other stupidity....EVERY patient that comes to the damn ER to get a pregnancy test when we use the same shit the dollar store sells.