Friday, May 7, 2010

Lesbian Temple Rub

A 26 yo Hispanic female arrived to the ED with multiple chief complaints- including headache, dizziness, numbness, tingling, weakness, and palpitations. When the patient arrived, I reviewed the nurses notes and eye balled her. I quickly realized this patient had nothing wrong because she had a bouquet of positive review of systems. So I turfed the patient to my intern and let him see the patient. I stood close by to observe the encounter.

He walked into the room with the Spanish interpreter (because we don't make out immigrants learn our language) and politely asked her what brought her in. In typical Hispanic Hystericus, she immediately started pointing to her head, chest, and made the infamous "my finger are numb signal." Within ten seconds I knew that she had anxiety and needed an outpatient psych consult....but my intern pressed on.

After asking her multiple questions regarding things that make her symptoms better or worse, he sat down and held her hand! He then said, "I'm here to help you, please tell me what's really bothering you?" So she let it all out. She said "Well, two weeks ago I was working at the hotel and a lesbian rubbed my temples! Since then that's all I keep thinking about! It consumes my thinking and is causing great distress in my marriage. I can barely sleep!"

I could barely contain myself. Now every time I see a Hispanic Hystericus, I can't help but think that "LTR" or lesbian temple rubbing, might be the root cause!"

-Doc Sensitive


Anonymous said...

Oh boy!

Anonymous said...

How can I get one of those temple rubs?

Anonymous said...

Hey, you make fun of the intern's approach, but it cut to the chase and got the woman to tell you what the real problem was, right? Sometimes a little hand holding is the right approach!

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