Saturday, September 11, 2010

Great Phone Call: Rectal Fun



Rectal posts are always popular. So here is another....

We frequently get calls to our ER from potential patients asking medical questions. The nurses always say the same...."I am sorry but we cannot give medical advice over the phone. If you are concerned please come in." Never do they transfer the call to the doctors, but last week one of the nurses did.

Me: "Hello, this is ER Doc how may I help you."

Phoner: "Yeah, uh high. I know you can't give medical advice over the phone, but I have a shower head stuck up my ass and I am wondering if you have the capabilities at your hospital to get it out."

Me: "Come right in!"

He really did have a big shower head stuck up his ass. He had to go to the operating room to get it out. He said he stuck it up there b/c he had such bad diarrhea he wanted to "plug it up." Yeah right.

Check out my other rectal fun posts....one of them has a man who shoved something in there b/c he said he was constipated. I guess it goes both ways.

-ER Doc

10 comments:

Shash said...

He's just embarrassed because he forgot to put the soap in first.

Guzzo said...

Was it a low-flow shower head?

hof said...

i'm guessing he was wishing that the shower head would have been a fleeting idea

/yeah i know, i can hear your boos
//please direct all hate mail to er doc

med464 said...

We had a guy last week who called 911 for transport would not tell the 911 operator what it was for ( sucked for him because on the unknown they ship out medics and cops to back us up just in case ) come to find out he had a action hero figurine in his a$$ which had the cops cracking jokes all day and he only called because he could not remove it and didn't think he would be able to drive in a safe way to the ER. needless to say they had to take him up to the O.R and I found out later he was violated by superman! uggh poor superman!

arzt4empfaenger said...

Yikes! Remind me never to take a shower at his place. Argh!
Love hearing those stories, though!

ERP said...

Just tell him to get a bidet!

ER Murse said...

I'm surprised he didn't have the typical 'I was cleaning the shower naked, decided to take the shower head off, dropped it, slipped, fell on it, and somehow it ended up lubed up and in my arse' story. It always surprises me how someone could fall on something and end up with it somehow going into their rectum, but not as much as the fact that they assume we'll believe that.

Guzzo said...

needless to say they had to take him up to the O.R and I found out later he was violated by superman! uggh poor superman!

Funny.. I would have bet that it would have turned out to be a GI Joe.

tracy said...

Hee! Reminds me of that episode of "Seinfeld" and the "Macaroni Man".

"Ass Man!!"

Anonymous said...

Funny thing is that with those spray-after-use everyday shower cleaning products, cleaning the shower is about the only cleaning task for which it isn't actually entirely implausible to be naked.