Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Pain of Cheating


A nice young guy came in with a complaint of foot pain after being run over by a car. The story was pretty interesting. He couldn't find his live-in girlfriend. After a few hours, he decided to go to her uncle's house where she hangs out a lot. The uncle wasn't there, but her car was. When he went into the bedroom he found her in bed with another man! Of course she tried to blame it on him. They argued in the lawn, and she decided to leave. She got in her car, and as he tried to chase her down she decided to just run over him! Besides the broken heart, he just suffered a broken foot. Worst part is that he has her name tattooed over his chest. We tried to come up with ways to transform the tattoo into another word....but "Maria" doesn't leave much to work with.

My attending had a similar story....but I think way better. A 30 something year old man walked into the bathroom and found his girlfriend getting it on hot and heavy with another WOMAN in the shower. He was distraught and decided to jump out of the window of his 2nd story apartment. When he arrived to the ER he was asked if he knew where he was. He replied, "Yeah, where people who do stupid shit like I just did end up!"

My attending said he wanted to give him an extra point on his GCS score for such a clever response. Personally I think he should loose a man card for getting upset at finding his girlfriend with another woman. That's most men's dream. He should have joined them. He would have spared all the broken bones for one happy bone.

-ER Doc

9 comments:

Hey, You said...

I don't think he needs to change the tattoo. He should just limit his dating to women named "Maria." There have got to be at least a million women with that name.

He also won't have to ever worry about calling his current girlfriend by his former girlfriend's name.

Problem solved.

tracy said...

"Happy Bone"...hahahaha!

Bubba said...

This other girl may have given a new meaning to the saying "Bone of Contention".

"Maria" changing it is easy, try "Mafia", might scare off some bad dude in the process.

Mejis said...

I can't believe the other guy jumped out the window. You'd think he would have asked if he could join. lol

John Holmes said...

My initial instinct is that jumping in the shower with the girls may have been the better choice but then it got me thinking, it could be a choice between breaking a bone or breaking a boner. Jumping off the window with be my choice too. Girls can be possessive and viscious.

Sabra said...

Re the tattoo: Put "Ave" over Maria, and a picture of La Virgen de Guadalupe underneath. Easy! OK, maybe less so if he happens to be a Baptist Asian or some such...

And yeah, when your girlfriend is with another woman, you don't join them. Wet dreams aside, the last thing two women having sex want is a man.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Marla? Marta?

Mariachi Fan?

j said...

Marianas Trench?

Marco said...

The guy jumping out the window reminds me of a fellow who was working on the second floor of a building doing some construction. He fell through that floor into an office. Slowly dusting himself off, without missing a beat, he said to the startled office staff "Bond, James Bond.'

Marco