Our patient was a 58 year old male with no teeth and suffered from Hepatitis C. He was a perfect patient b/c he had an enlarged prostate (I assume this is why he was selected over all the other candidates- still wonder if they had tryouts). We all lined up outside the door, and the doctor came out of the room to give us instructions.
He said, "I recommend double gloving on this guy b/c he's got Hep C. When you come in, get some lube on your finger and insert. Then, push deeper to feel the prostate. Sweep around like this (just imagine a doctor pointing with his index finger and then doing a spin with the finger as a pivot) and get a good feel of the prostate. Any questions?"
We were silent as we pondered on how to rotate around our finger to sweep the prostate. One after the other, my fellow medical students went in the room and quickly came out 5 minutes later with their heads down to the floor. So, it was my turn- I knocked on the door (like he didn't know I was coming). I said "Hello sir, it's good to meet you. I'm Student Doctor Sensitive and here to do your rectal!" The homeless guy just got a huge smile on his face and turned around and dropped his smelly,dirty pants onto the floor. I confidently double gloved (just in case of the Hep C) and put lube on. I spread his butt cheeks and pushed hard like the doctor instructed me to and then spun around my finger to feel something. I'm not sure what I felt b/c I was trying to hurry.
As I was taking my finger out of his rectum, Mr. Homeless turned around and smiled sheepishly with his missing, broken teeth and said "I like you, you are charismatic!" At that point, I became alarmed b/c he enjoyed these rectals a little too much. I quickly removed my soiled finger, tossed the glove in the trash, and walked with my head down (as the two before me had done). I still wonder if Mr. Homeless said the same thing to the others that day, but I am pretty sure he still lines up for his 100 bucks of satisfaction. Still gives me chills.