Saturday, April 9, 2011

Virgins


An 18 year old female presented with rectal pain. One glance at the area and the diagnosis was clear.....genital warts.

Me: "Ma'am, you have genital warts. It is a STD."

Virgin: "That is impossible, I am a virgin."

Me (thinking yeah right I have heard it a million times): "Ok, well you still have anal warts and need to follow up at the county health department for treatment."

Virgin: "You don't believe I am a virgin do you?"

Me: "It doesn't matter what I believe, I am not here to judge. But no...I don't believe you."

Virgin: "Well I AM a virgin because I ONLY have anal sex."

Me: "Ahhhh, makes sense. And it hasn't worked out for you has it?"

Kids.....wear a condom even if your butt hole is a slut but your vagina is pure.

-ER Doc

13 comments:

Melissa said...

I am going to be snickering over the last line for the next 3 days.

ER Jedi said...

Hey now, she's 18 and not pregnant? I'd argue it worked out pretty damn well for her.

Anonymous said...

Stuff was made to come OUT that hole not go in it.

Shash said...

Because her butt's not a virgin, she has an STD. There used to be a website pushing this version of virginity. She obviously drank the koolaid on that one.

At least she is not pregnant with an STD. I guess.

burned-out medic said...

hahaha. the same way catholic kids supposedly do it - i'm told - in the other hole because they remain virgins?

at least she's not pregnant. anything but that. phew.

trout92 said...

I saw a soldier in Iraq who had bad anal warts. His comment, "I must've gotten them from my wife while I was home on R&R". OK, maybe. But in that case, your wife should clean her toys up better before sticking them in your ass.

ERP said...

"Your Butt Hole is a slut and your vagina is pure" LOL.

kate said...

There was a girl in my sorority that claimed that she was still a virgin all through college because she only had anal sex...I seriously didn't believe that anyone could think that pre-marital anal sex was "less evil" than regular ol' vaginal pre-marital sex, but I guess that I was wrong.

Reds Kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nurse K said...

Kids.....wear a condom even if your butt hole is a slut but your vagina is pure.

Sage words from a wise doctor. I give thee my nod of respect.

Sassy said...

I live in the Bible Belt. It's amazing how many of these "virgins" exist. Either these kids do "everything but" like this or they get married to their first boy/girlfriend ASAP so they can have sex. Both brilliant plans...

Anonymous said...

only has anal sex. i tip my hat to you, my new heroine. oh, wait, you have an std - forget about it

LivingDeadNurse said...

haha...lol "butt hole slut"

eww makes me remember a patient that had genital warts so bad you couldn't see his anus..barf