Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Only in the Country: Attack of the Great Squirrell




A nice middle aged female postal worker came in with a chief complaint of: Attacked by a huge squirrel
And this wasn't the first time either! It started about a week ago. She was sitting on her porch when she saw a huge squirrel sitting a few feet away (she showed me a picture she took of it...it was the biggest damn squirrel I have ever seen). She thought it would run away like squirrels do, but instead it ran towards her and attacked her! She went inside the house screaming. Her son (6'6'', 290 pounds) went outside to see what the deal was. The squirrel jumped right on the son to finish his attack. She said she never heard her big boy scream so loud.

Two days later the patient was again sitting on her porch, this time no squirrel in site. Until suddenly she saw the huge thing dart down the tree acrross the yard full force to attack her again. She ran in her house and went to the front porch...but the damn squirrel had made his way around the house and was waiting to attack her again.

Then came today. When she went to throw out her trash, the squirrel snuck out from behind the tree and attacked her leg. She came in to the ER get a tetanus shot and wound care. The nurse called the Game Warden. Being from the city...I had no clue what the hell a Game Warden was. Anyways, he suggested that she shoot the squirrel, and gave her permission to do so even though it wasn't "squirrel season."

I know this sounds crazy. I was cracking up while the patient was telling me the story. But she sure seemed normal. I guess I believe her.

-ER Doc

13 comments:

WarmSocks said...

Rabies?

Anonymous said...

Squirrels don't carry Rabbies

-er doc

WarmSocks said...

Hadn't known that. Thanks.

Burger Doodle Chicks said...

And the Game Warden assumed she had access to a squirrel gun, of course....

Burger Doodle Chicks said...

Forgot, don't eat the brains, they may be rabies-free, but spongiform encephalopathy still pops up occasionally. Also, thanks for getting the post up, the suspense was wicked!

Andrea said...

Any mammal can become infected with rabies and potentially spread the disease.

Ladyk73 said...

I would still check it for rabies....even though there was never a confirmed case of rabies in squirrels, cannot think why there never would be...

Although a rabid animal would not search one out...

ERP said...

Was it a hibernating Marmot that was awoken?

an said...

squirrels don't carry rabies because if an animal with rabies bit a squirrel it would probably die! but if your friend's squirrel was really that big...maybe it could have rabies

tracy said...

The Eastern Grey Squirrel does not carry rabies...we had an "accidental" pet one for a few months...long story, but after a few times of "Lennie" landing on your head, ya got used to it and actually, it was kind of funny.

Esther said...

I thought the reason squirrels couldn't have rabies is that rabies is a virus and therefore species specific.

Great story. I've talked to a couple people who had squirrels attack them. Usually the squirrel wanted their food.

KG said...

We've had a problem with bats lately. First saw one in the house a year ago, caught it with gloves and let it go outside. 6 mo ago there was one in the house and I woke up with a tiny vampire-ish bite and a drop of dried blood on my hand. The bat disappeared and I got the immune globulin. Last week we caught another one and thankfully the health department sent it for testing and it did not have rabies. Weird shit. Last summer I contemplated shooting squirrels b/c they were eating all our figs off the tree. Not wanting to waste them, I thought about making squirrel stew, but then worried about them having rabies. Did a lot of research and found that it's highly unlikely. I absolutely love your writing. Thanks for making sense of the HCR crap Mar 27. Everyone else is out to scare us.

Unknown said...

This is hilarious! Reminds me of the Far Side books by Gary Larson. Thanks for sharing!