Thursday, March 31, 2011

Security To Triage



Security was called to triage on a recent shift. We had a very upset patron.

A 22 year old female checked in with her 3 month old baby and boyfriend. Her chief complaint was "Paternity Test."

She was told that the ER doesn't do paternity tests, and she freaked out!

"What the f**k you mean you don't do paternity tests. How to f**k am I supposed to know if he da daddy!?"

She screamed this over and over for the whole waiting room to hear. She even grabbed a clipboard and threw it across the waiting room (with her baby in her other arm).

Someone eventually replied to her by yelling "Go on Maury if you want to find out!"

The boyfriend just stood there the whole time with a smirk showing his blinged out teeth...never said a word.

-ER Doc

13 comments:

rnraquel said...

Holy crap.

Maha said...

Stay classy lady. Stay classy.

Melissa said...

Dear fellow patient who told her to go on Maury: You are my hero. Have a cookie.

Dr. J said...

And he is.........NOT the father!!!!! OOOOOOOoooooo!!!!

Anonymous said...

Aw, now maybe Maury doesn't have any openings?

Surely MediCal/Medicaid pays for such life-saving tests as those!

newnurseinthehood said...

I think you mean, sah-cur-i-tee, sir.

ERP said...

Thankfully she never made it past triage.

Holly said...

What Melissa said.

Have another cookie.

Dr. J said...

Just admit that you thought about taking some blood, walking out with a big yellow envelope and randomly declaring paternity! It had to have crossed your mind.

Nurse Schneider said...

Reminds me of this awesome comic:

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/091906/LOVE-SEAT.gif

Nurse K said...

I hate ultra-ghetto.

Anonymous said...

Surprised she had to ask, usually the welfare office does it to go after child support to get paid back...when I had to get medical many years ago for my kids (about ten years ago and I only used it til I got up on my feet cause I was a single mother) and part of the signing up required me giving them my kid's father's information so they could get refunded by him and that included paternity eventhough I knew 100% that they where his, but he tried to get out of the situation by saying they weren't so he didn't have to pay a penny (cheap ghetto jerk is what he is, good for nothing) and the state paid for it...I'm just glad that's behind us for my kids and I and got back on our feet, with no
help from thier father....one of us had to grow up and be the parent. I still wonder who he thought the father was if it wasn't him, he's the one who slept around, not me. Oh yea, and they are his kids, it still makes me mad that he embarrassed me like that...

Chino & Milo's Thrifty Gems said...

"Go on Maury if you want to find out!"

I almost choked too funny