Confusing the Census Bureau

First, let me say congratulations to my colleagues. I wish them the best of luck. Just glad they are in a different hospital so they can't abuse me with a bunch of crap consults. For me, it's the 4th year of psych residency. Luckily, this means slightly less work. I think. But my program has a history of deceiving me.

A guy came in for refill on his antipsychotic. Reality testing seemed to be going fine. He was pleasant, oriented, not suicidal, denied hallucinations, etc. That is, until I asked him about agitation/aggression.

"I do pretty good except when I'm outside in the heat," he said. "Cherokees can't handle the heat."

Let me back up for a second and tell you that the guy across the table is obviously (to me at least) African American. So I was shocked by his comment. So shocked that I thought, "Wow, then why did they build all those tepees without air conditioning?" and "I bet it sucked hunting those bison" and "Why didn't they just hang out around the Bering Strait instead of migrating all the way down to the prairie?" and about a million other questions popped into my head.

Instead, all I could muster was, "Wow, I never knew that."

"Yeah, most people don't know that about us Cherokee. I'm also Dutch, German, and Jew."

I gave him my best "Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?" gaze, and didn't say anything.

He said, "That's right. 1% Jew."

"Okay, if you say so. Here's some Abilify. See you in a month"

-Psych Doc