Sunday, July 18, 2010

2 Diagnoses for the Price of One

OK, enough about the farting. Let's get to a story that involves the other hole down there!

A 50-year-old lady came in by EMS status post 2 seizures at home. She had missed her medicines the last couple days, so it was no big deal that she was seizing. I ordered a dilantin (seizure medication) level to know how much medicine to give her.

Surprise to me...the nurse had ordered a urine test. And what came back in it?? Trichomoniasis in her urine! Usually this is tested by a swab of the vaginal discharge during a pelvic exam. When you see it swimming in the urine, you have a nasty case of the trich.

So this 50-year-old got dilantin for her seizures AND a loading dose of metro for her trich.

Patient after I told her she has a STD: "I'm gonna kill my husband!"

Me: "I understand, ma'am. I just ask that you please do it next to a different trauma center."

Her: "Deal!"

-ER Doc


Maha said...

Maybe she should kill him near a teaching hospital so the baby doclings can learn all about blunt force trauma!

tracy said...

Maha "baby doclings"

Love it! You're funny!

littlewings11 said...

I always love it when we see trich in older patients. It's good to know that you can still have a sex life at that age even if you aren't any wiser.

-crazy med tech

tracy said...

PS Maha i loved "The Kite Runner"

Melissa said...

I had a patient with similar circumstances who said the same thing. My response was "Just don't do it here because that's going to make for a security call and a heck of an interesting nurse's note".

He was admitted 3 days later with a really wicked scalp lac and a concussion. ;)

ERP said...

Perhaps her husband should "kill" her? She could have been getting some on the side herself and just blamed it on her husband to avoid that embarrassment of telling you she was banging the pool boy.