Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Only in the Country: Sunshine

A 26 year old male came in by EMS after an attempted suicide. The report over the radio was that the patient was combative after a standoff at his house with police. He arrived to the ER at 12:30 PM. Supposedly he had taken 40 Xanax at 9AM in an attempt to kill himself. I didn't believe the story b/c if he had taken that much Xanax he would be totally knocked out. Instead, he was the opposite.

The point of this post isn't really the medical stuff. He was fine. He needed to go to a psych hospital. The idea of this post, though, is the humor surrounding this wacked out patient. .

The patient had recently received his 2nd DWI. He was in trouble with law b/c after posting bail, he drove straight to the nearest gas station and bought an 18 pack of beer. He was then pulled over with the unopened beer in his truck....not good. So the next morning (same day he came to the ER), he tried to call his parole officer to explain. His PO didn't answer the phone, so he decided to try and kill himself.

He was wearing ripped up jeans, a no sleeved t shirt, was covered in dirt, smelled of gasoline, and He had a nice tatoo on his arm that said "Sunshine."

His wife had recently left him for what he described as "Nasty ass dope dealing redneck mofo."

He also told me...."My mom tried to kill my dad."

When it was time for him to drink charcoal, he asked if I could mix it with jagermeister.

Next classic quote...."I think this is the same room my mom was in when she tried to kill herself by drinking antifreeze. How come she could go outside to smoke but I can't? Is it because I'm white?" (Yes his mom is white too).

About 6 different police officers from 2 different counties came in to either issue him a ticket or camp outside his room b/c he was a danger to others. ALL of the different officers knew him by name. 4 of the officers had tazed him at one point in their career.

He became very unruly so I had to give him haldol to calm him down. It worked great, except for when it was time for him to go to the bathroom. He was given a big bottle to urinate in his room. We heard a scream from the room saying "the toilet is clogged!" There was no toilet in the room. He was pooping in the bottle and was having trouble....go figure.

After about 8 horrible hours, he was escorted to the nearest psych hospital 2 hours away.

-ER Doc


DreamingTree said...

This guy was clearly doomed from the minute he was born. And the sad part is that he was probably reproduced. So, there's another generation that will swing through the revolving door. Sad...but inevitable.

ERP said...

Well, at least every time he comes in there is bound to be some blog material.

Doctor D said...

Let me guess... this fine young man has probably produced about 6 kids all with different mothers, and is in the process of giving them a wonderfully traumatic childhood that will lead them to a similarly miserable adulthood?

Am I close?

"Nurse, get me the vasectomy tray STAT!"

Me said...

Um, haldol = hallucinate so I guess I'm not too surprised about the pooping in the bottle bit.

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