Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Snake Bite

A 25 year old disheveled male arrived to the ER and handed me a piece of paper with the following written in messy handwriting: "A snake bit my dick."

I laughed in my head and and said, "Sir, why do you think a snake bit your penis?"

He anxiously replied, "Because it burns and has two things that look like snake fangs!"

I then proceeded to look at his penis and quickly identified the lesions as herpes. I told him that he was not bitten by a snake, but infected with a STD that is passed on by unprotected intercourse and it would require antiviral medications for his whole life.

I asked if he had any questions. He replied, "Do you know what kind of snake bit me?"

He was not going to be convinced! I attempted two more times to explain what an STD was and how it was treated. I gave him a script for acyclovir and told him to follow up with the health department. I also advised him to stay away from that snake that bit him.

-Doc Sensitive


StorytellERdoc said...

LOL...sadly, now he has a snake that will bite if he's not honest with his partners! Sometimes you gotta love our jobs, yes?

Trust us....we're doctors said...

I'll bet it came from a Yogurt-Slinging One-Eyed Trouser Snake.

-Psych Doc

ERP said...

Right, as psych doc says, are you sure he was not "sword fighting" with another trouser snake?

Anonymous said...

I'd tell him it wasn't a sanke, but a cat that bit him. One mean pussy (cat).