Sunday, January 24, 2010

More Rectal Fun...Homemade Pleasure

A 45 yo male arrived to ED walking with his legs wide apart and refusing to sit down in the triage chairs. Instead, he elected to stand up in a semi erect stance and demanded to see the doctor. The nurse wrote the following triage summary: "45 yo male in moderate distress here for a 2 day history of a homemade dildo in his rectum."

I have retrieved many objects from rectums including flashlights, apples, old spice bottles, glass bottles, and many lost commercial pleasure devices. This, however, was my first "homemade" device.

Sir, "I'm Doc Sensitive. How can I help you today?" Of course I knew exactly why he needed my help b/c I read the nurses notes.

The poor man was laying on his side and didn't want to face me... butt stated "Doc, I'm extremely embarrassed about this... but my girlfriend came over one night and told me she wanted to fulfill one of her fantansy's and brought over a plastic dildo she made herself and said that she wanted to have sex with my a**. So I was like, okay, why not. She then strapped it on to perform anal sex on me and all of a sudden she screamed out... 'Uh, I can't get it back out!'"

This guy had spent the prior TWO DAYS trying to remove it with various other foreign objects... including a spoon and a wrench, but was unsuccessful. He finally gave in and came to our hospital. The surgeons took him to the operating room, and they successfully removed a 12 inch first class homemade dildo. He left the hospital the next day without his girlfriend's dildo, or his manlihood.

-Doc Sensitive

PS: For more posts like these, check out our "Most Popular Posts" section on the right and look for titles about Rectal Fun

6 comments:

Ouch! said...

"Do you want me to take it out or just change the batteries?" was the question a surgical resident asked an ED patient after a barely vibrating dildo was found stuck inside him.

DocV said...

What! No pictures?

Sharon said...

Hi,

My name is Sharon Smith and I am the assistant editor of Gynecology.net. I am contacting you today in hopes of developing a relationship with your website; we have seen your site and think your content is great. Gynecology.net offer a free informational resource to both the general and professional public on several women health issues.

I hope you show some interest in building relationship, please contact me at sharon.gynecology.net@gmail.com.

ERP said...

It broke off the strap-on the girlfriend was weilding?

StorytellERdoc said...

Ugh! Don't know about the story, since once you are caught with a 12-inch dildo in your ass, who's gonna believe anything else you have to say? Where do I send flowers? LOL Have a good weekend.

Anonymous said...

You doctors really need to spread the word that heavy duty anal toys need heavy duty lips to fight anal suction and inevitable ED trips.