Thursday, November 12, 2009

What do vegetable juice, milk, and worms have in common?

The answer? My patients! Here are a couple of word-for-word triage notes from a recent shift:

Patient 1:
Patient states she thinks someone put something in her vegetable juice this am at 0500. She says that she woke up and drank the juice and shortly after she felt "like my stomach was swelling up and then I had nasty orange diarrhea". Pt states she then drank 1/2 gallon of milk and then had the more diarrhea, this time a lighter orange. Pt appears in no acute distress in triage. Pt states she feels fine now.

Patient 2:
Patient with chief complaint of "I have an abscess on my head and i found a worm in it."

-ER Doc


Mel said...

Let me guess, patient 1 showed up in the ER at about 2345.

Anonymous said...

Patient two should be happy...the worm likely has a higher IQ than she does. And I am with this one needed care between 2300 and 0300.

Pattie, RN

June Cleaver said...

#2 makes me think bot fly larva. Not uncommon in vet med. Not sure how common it is in people but I have heard of people with them.

Doctor D said...

"STAT Chocolate Milk Treatment for Patient #1 to emergently return fecal matter to its brown baseline!"

Gotta love saving lives in the ER!

Anonymous said...

That is IT, Dr. D....I am sending you the cleaning bill to remove coffee from my monitor, directly induced by a paroxysm of spit-laughter related to YOUR comment!

Patttie, RN