Monday, November 16, 2009
Some more weird complaints from patients from my last moonlighting shift in the boonies:
Patient 1: Chief complaint of "I think I have forceps coming out of my vagina!" Oh course everyone was cracking up before I went into the room. The patient stated that she had a c section done a year ago. Since then, she had pain and pressure to her lower abdomen. She was convinced the doctors left forceps in her uterus and they were slowly falling out. I did the vag exam, and of course no forceps. But....Before I left the room I got some forceps from the drawer, gooped them withe some jelly, and brought them out of the room with my gloves on. I had a shocked looked on my face and told the nurses, "Look! She really did have forceps in her snatch!" I couldn't hold my laughter for long and they quickly figured out the joke.
Patient 2: Was actually a phone call to the nurses. The person called at 3 am b/c she cut her dogs toenails too much and they were bleeding. She was frantic and didn't know what to do. My nurse told her to call a vet. She said all vets were closed. So my nurse said, "So go to sleep!" and hung up the phone. Greatness
Posted by SerenityNow at 11:31 AM