Monday, November 9, 2009

Milk the Balls??


A 27 year old male came in withe the chief complaint of testicular pain. On exam he had extremely enlarged, red/purple testicles. There was active drainage, he was febrile and tachycardic, and the infection had spread to his lower abdomen and thighs. It was basically a surgical emergency.

Usually this kind of infection stems as a complication from diabetes...but not in this guy. No past medical history. So what could it be?? The story is very hard to believe. His girlfriend told him that she heard "milking the prostate" can feel really good and make your man parts larger. Problem is they didn't know what that meant or where the prostate was. They KNEW the prostate wasn't in the penis, so it had to be in the testicles. So...they got a needle and syringe INJECTED MILK into his scrotum! Ouch.

I try to educate my patients as much as possible on things. I don't always do a good job when its really busy. But this time I was sure to explain what "milking the prostate" really is.

Poor guy lost both of his testicles from necrotizing fasciitis. Milk doesn't always do a body good.

-ER Doc

23 comments:

Doctor D said...

I suppose this is a good teaching story on why you shouldn't try crayzee things you read about on the internet. Note to all nut-jobs: do not inject milk into scrotum!

Common sense people!

Me said...

This guy is definately a contender for a Darwin Award.

R. May said...

Threw up a little on that one.

Gives me one more reason that milk makes me gag.

Andrea said...

So they could get their hands on a needle and syringe but not an anatomy book. What a shame.

Did they go ahead and remove the girlfriend's ovaries while they were at it?

Angry Nurse said...

I'm speechless!

plushiefiedmizu said...

Talk about dropping the ball on this one.

... Couldn't help myself. :D

Hmm. Also, the word verification thinf is "ballytio"...

Anonymous said...

Wow. Just wow. I would not beleieve this for a second if I didn't work with patients.


Did I say "wow"??

Pattie, RN

Lilorfnannie said...

I just gotta say it. I'm astounded! I never even heard of any of this milking of balls business- and injecting milk with a syringe?!? It's like some people have a total disconnect between their brains and reality. They just think to do something and don't have the capacity to recognize the real-world results of their actions, as if they were five years old or something.

What is a redneck's last words? "Hey Bubba, watch this!" (substitute crayzee of the week for "redneck"!)

Bubba said...

When he wakes up in the morning he will be rubbing his eyes now since he's got no more balls to scratch! What a travesty....

Suicide Barbie said...

One really has to wonder about what goes through the minds of others at times! :-o
Surely one would think to research certain things in order for them to be carried out safely and properly.
Barring the fact that all the information one could want on 'milking the prostrate' and more is but a few key srokes away. Is the internet not a wonderful thing.
What a balls up!
>.<

Joy said...

I bet his girlfriend feels really smart now. Wonder if they're still together.......?1

Anonymous said...

the one good thing to come out of this is that he can not pass on his stupidity to his progeny

HugeMD said...

I agree with anon--this is natural selection in action. Though I'm sure the chick will move on and find someone else with whom to pass on her genes...

Anonymous said...

That's weird, my male friends have always enjoyed injecting milk into their scrotum - I wonder what this couple did wrong?!?

K said...

"Milking the cow" must sound like a circular argument to these people

The Happy Hospitalist said...

That is some good medical humor

Anonymous said...

Does it make a difference if it's skim, 1%, 2%, or whole? Honest question :P Bad deal!

Blake said...

"I don't get it... so how do you get the milk without losing your balls?"

Kidding! I can picture that thought running through the minds of half the country who stumbled across this by doing a google search for "balls".

MaddMedic said...

Humor! Right? Where is the humor tag?? Oh well people like this keep others busy and working! In this case stupigity appears to have been very painful!!!

MaddMedic said...

Stupigity? Good Lord I need more sleep!!

Anonymous said...

UGH. Some people really should not breed.

Ask a doctor said...

Ouch, that was painful. But seriously shouldn't people ask a doctor before experimenting on themselves.

Sildenafil Citrate said...

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