Deja Vu

Yesterday I had a guy come in who tried to kill himself by an attempted overdose. Run of the mill for our ER....except his name was Michael Jackson and he was 50 years old!! It was creepy seeing that on the board. Even more ironic....he was white too? This guys drug of choice was seroquel (antipyschotic), though. His OD was non toxic and I eventually transferred him to psych.

I had another lady come in by ambulance about 50 years old. Her goatee was thicker than mine. I try to see the ambulance patients right away to help the nurse decide if they need a bed or can go to the waiting room. This lady was freaking out. Screaming to me she needed her pants off. I asked her why, and she said b/c of all the itching in her legs, vagina, butt, and stomach. Then she told me how the worms were crawling out of her and started screaming. She kept trying to get her clothes off...which would have been devastating to everyone around. She had many other weird complaints, like discharge from her anus.

Being in such a big hospital....we have a separate ER for female (ob/gyn) issues. I begged the paramedics to take her to that section and only to mention the vag itching as the chief complaint. It was my 11th hour and I couldn't hand that kind of crazy right then. About 20 minutes later the female ER called to send her to us. They said they checked her out and the itching was from the patient pooping all over herself. I accepted her...then assigned her to the intern. She eventually ended up in psych as well.

Disaster averted!

-ER Doc