Dehydrated

I had to share this one. I went to pick up the next patient on the board and say "dehydrated" as the chief complaint. Sounded easy enough. Then I read the nurses triage sheet. Here is what I read word for word.

Pt was picked up at the Grey Hound bus station by police after calling 911 for an ambulance for "dehydration". Pt wearing only a dirty t-shirt and tennis shoes, smelly badly. Pt has flight of conversations and states "I need to be seen for dehydration and hypertension. I am hard of hearing and that is why I talk so loud, usually most lesbians do. My boyfriend has helped me to overcome my depression and I think my bone structure has changed. I am 37 years old...I know I look 14, i try to stay young. I am really dehydrated. I've been drinking plenties of water aid and keeping the AC at 60 but it still runs and I'm not sweating down there so I'm dehydrated." Pt has steady gait, A&Ox4. Answers questions appropriately. Pt was seen in the ER yesterday in the am and discharged as they decided she was not dehydrated.

Manic is a great drug.

-ER Doc