Sunday, March 1, 2009

Black History Month

Psychosis can have many themes. It can involve the FBI or other government agencies, super powers, ESP, or hyper-religiosity to name a few. Race is sometimes involved, and this past month was no different. Here are 3 brief stories.

1. A guy called me and said, "Can I come up there and get my psych meds? I usually go to the VA (Veteran's Administration clinic), but ever since we got that Muslim president, I can't get my meds."

2. I was doing an interview with a patient and inquired about his family history. "Well, my dad was arrested for lynching freed slaves." Funny thing is, the patient is a black man.

3. The police bring in a guy laying on a gurney with a red blanket completely covering his body, except I see a huge Afro and a bandana on his head. Looked like a cross between Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock and the black guy on Guitar Hero. He was barking like a dog. Then I noticed his feet sticking out from under the blanket. He had written WOOF WOOF on his feet and legs. And his skin was white!

The blanket came off and he finally stopped barking. He was telling our black staff members, "Look at my skin. It's the same color as yours. We need to get out of this state, because they will hang n****** like us down here." He told me I needed to go to a plastic surgeon and get horns implanted into my head so I would look like the white devil that I truly am.

He claimed to have had 50 surgeries on his groin, 30 of them at our hospital, for a gunshot wound. We were trying to do the safety search, and he kept saying, "You all just want to see my big black dick." The psych tech asked him how big, and he said "All the way down to my nutsack."

Meth is a helluva drug.

Psych Doc


Medic(three) said...

I'm noticing a trend with your posts. Black people make you uncomfortable, don't they...

Anonymous said...

You don't have to read the blog if it doesn't appeal to you. I disagree with you on the "black people" comment though. Don't worry be happy!!! This is one of the most entertaining medical blogs I've ever come across.