No, of course not. But it makes for a good title.
Any Sunday in the ER there are always a couple of people that come in from church. Today, though, I saw FOURTEEN people who came in after getting sick at church. Two of them were preachers. It was really strange. Maybe God took the day off?
They ranged from the simple, "I got chest pain in church" to " I passed out in church" to "Grandma slumped over and couldn't move her left side during church and has been drooling since."
Most seem to come from Catholic church. I think it is from all the standing and kneeling. I heard that's what they do there. The Pentecostals come in a lot b/c of the emotional experience they tend to have at church. I am surprised we don't get more Muslims from all of their bowing when praying. I guess they are in better shape since they do it 5 times a day.
In summary, there were a lot of freaking sick people in church today. Be careful next time you go. I hope I didn't offend anyone too much. OK, that's a lie b/c I don't give a shit. Its my blog and I think its funny. Probably b/c I haven't been to church in a while and my conscious has gone missing. My mom would be so disappointed in my right now I hope she doesn't read this one
-ER Doc
14 comments:
Too Funny! My mom IS dissapointed in me. To put it mildly.
Sometimes i miss church....not the one i was raised in, though!
Other times....
we have people passing out all the time (Catholic) and it isn't usually the elderly. altar boys are the prime targets and after that usually teen girls. someone goes over about once every 3-4 months and half the time it is dealt with so quietly and calmly that most of the parish doesn't know something happened. not once have we needed to call 911. slip and falls outside in inclement weather are usually when we need to call the ambulance.
When I did my ER rotations many moons ago, the GSW victims were ALWAYS either on their way to church or coming home from church when "two dudes" came outta nowhere and shot 'em. Always. If the Houston PD could just catch those two dudes...
after teaching gross anatomy and dissecting the workings of the cancer cell and cancerous tissues for a pseudoliving, the whole church thing just isn't as appealing
Why are there so many anon's?
tracy,
because my blog(s) suck(s)
hof
Muslims probably are in better shape...probably less fat than "the rest of us". For some reason, i get this feeling an Islamic diet is somehow healthier than other ones. Not sure why...lack of etoh and pork products, maybe?
Funny post, i'm surprised you didn't get more comments...pro or con.
Looking forward to the next one. Hint, hint...
PS i know you were joking about the Muslims, but it got me to thinking.......
I think that is a Lutheran prayerbook (uh I had to do a floor blessing as a chaplain). I've always wondered if church could make you sick though....both mentally if the theology is bad, or physically if your sitting in the midst of the next flu bug.
Last Anon,
i am certian that the church i was raised in had at least a part in my crazies or in the least, did nothing to help...."just pray..."
Ummmmmm, yeah. Thanks alot, church...not to blame, but not a bunch of help....
I'm impressed your conscious went missing, how are you still with us?
Conscience is the moral balance, conscious is whether we're aware or not
(all said in jest!)
We were at the ER when a stream of people came in from a church--they were being mugged down one aisle of a church during a service. Most were coming in for "being so stressed."
One older gentleman said that he was sure the mugger was not one of their regular parishioner because "everyone knows the rich people sit on the other side of the church".
My area has lots of synagogs as well as churches. The good thing about slumping over or passing out in Temple is that it is a guarantee that there will be at least 2-3 MD's that are on staff at my hosptial there to assess you.
In point of fact people who regularly attend church live longer, even after adjusting for things like smoking. fewer sex partners, etc. When pts need some non-medical help we of course ask about family. When pts deny having anyone I ask if they have a church ( ANY )
and if they do I have never had the pastor/rabbi/elder/member not be willing to help.
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