Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Fleas





One of my least favorite chief complaints is "rash." The other day a middle aged female told me "I think I have fleas in my bush." Trying to keep a straight face, I asked her to explain further. She states that her cats had fleas, and now her crotch itches so she is worried she had fleas down there. She said she "shaved her bush" but that it still itched. I stayed professional, had the nurse come in and chaperone the exam, and went searching for fleas. Everything looked ok to me. I told her I didn't see any fleas or other rashes, but she kept grabbing and pulling at herself to show me where she thought the fleas were. In the end...I gave her a cream and reassured her that there were no fleas.

Of course on my way out....she asked me for a month's supply of Ambien with refills b/c she couldn't sleep with all the itching. Yeah right. I wanted to tell her to get a damn flea collar.

-ER Doc

6 comments:

HugeMD said...

If it itches and you can't sleep, I have the perfect drug for you--it's called diphenhydramine, or maybe hydroxyzine... It'll work WAY better--for both sleep and itching!! Busted.

Me said...

Ew.

Anonymous said...

Doing a post-partum cath on a "big gal", another nurse and I almost lost it with the giggles when fleas started jumping toward the light (yes, fleas, not crabs!) I asked if she had pets at home, and the patients said no, that animals were too dirty to live in the house.

It was almost Christmas, and I left the room humming "Do you see what I see'. I think we went in the med room and laughed until we tinkled.

Pattie, RN

tracy said...

Oh. My.

ndenunz said...

Thought this was going to be a discourse on internists. LOL

LivingDeadNurse said...

sheesh...lol