Stereotypes

There are many stereotypes in medicine. We see so many people each day you start to recognize patterns. None is more true than for Hispanics (warning....don't get too offended b/c I myself am one).

Hispanic men and women tend to be very dramatic. Sometimes it's hard finding their disease through all the drama. When they come in to the hospital....all 18 children and brothers and sisters are in the waiting room on their cell phones updating the rest of the family. You have to let the Hispanic patient tell you their symptoms. If you ask do you feel ____, they will ALWAYS say yes. It is very common for a Hispanic person to have a complaint for every part of their body on one single visit. I have NEVER had a Hispanic patient without "chills" and "numbness and tingling" in their fingers and toes....no matter what the underlying complaint was. In addition to standard treatment, I generally throw in a medicine like valium no matter what the complaint. Sometimes I use it alone. For the Hispanic patient, it has done wonders in treating headaches, toe pain, heart attacks, etc. For some reason Hispanic people always poor rubbing alcohol on their loved ones before taking them to the hospital in an attempt to treat them....I haven't figured this one out yet.

So....in medical conversation we have come up with many different phrases and euphemisms to describe our beloved Hispanic patients. Below are our favorites from emergency and psychiatric medicine

1) TMD- Stands for "total me duele." Used to describe the Hispanic patient who has more than 3 organ system or body parts that hurt. A good sign that nothing serious is going on

2) Aye Attack- The room will be dead silent....until the doctor walks by. Then many different pitches and streaks of "AYE, AYE DOCTOR ME DUELE" can be heard across the department. If this is repeated more than 2 times, it is known as an Aye attack. Another good sign nothing serious is going on.

3) A bipolar hispanic person = A Manic Hispanic

4) A Hispanic who is OCD over cleaning = A Spic and Spanic

5) Hispanic Panic- This simply is a descriptor of normal Hispanic anxiety

6) AMA- in the Hispanic population this is not the normal AMA (against medical advice). It stands for Acute Mexican Attack. This is a couple notches higher than regular Hispanic panic

7) SMA- no...not the superior mesenteric artery. If the patient has the normal AMA, but is also clinically psychotic....this is known as a Severe Mexican Attack.

8) Wetback Setback- If the Hispanic patient needs to be hospitalized

9) Status Hispanicus- status epilepticus is basically a grand mal seizure not responding to meds. Status Hispanicus is similar, except there is no seizure is involved. Basically the Hispanic patient is freaking out enough, screaming, crying, with wailing of the arms and legs for no organic reason. Since he/she does not respond to verbal redirection, he patient is usually placed into a resuscitation room and given LOTS of valium until tranquelized to the normal Hispanic panic (see #5)

10) Hispanic person who hasn't showered in 2 weeks and who sees the Virgin Mary in things like peanut butter and dirty skillets = NORMAL

-ER Doc/Psych Doc