A 27 year old male was brought in by his partner b/c his cock ring was stuck. Let's call him Cock Sucker. Of course....Cock Sucker used a metal cock ring. If you haven't read my previous post on metal cock rings.....don't use them! If you must wrap something tight around your wang to make you last longer....use a rubber one.
Cock Sucker made the mistake of putting his penis AND his testicles though the ring. I have never worn one, but I am guessing there is a warning label on the package (cock ring package that is) to NOT do that.
With the perfusion to his balls and penis decreasing, we got to work. Lube wasn't helping. Ring cutters....nope. Eventually we got a heavy duty cutter from the OR that got the thing pretty loose. We had ice all over his package to shrink things up as much as possible. The intern lubed him up again to try pulling the ring off again.
Apparently Cock Sucker liked all the pulling...because he got a massive hard on. He closed his eyes and started breathing and panting heavy. Right as the intern (male) pulled the ring off, Cock Sucker got off and shot a huge load on the interns scrubs! He then smiled and let out a big sigh. I was expecting the partner to pull his pants down and ask for the same.
We are expecting great patient satisfaction scores from this guy.
-ER Doc
LOL. Okay. That is hot and hysterical and gross all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteSome cock rings are made to put your balls into, as well.
LMAO! How freakin' funny!!! Thanks for the laugh. I, myself, have never seen one of those rings..........
ReplyDeleteThere are very few cock rings in which you don't place your testicles through. Your scrotum is what keeps the ring in place while your penis is flaccid to prevent it from falling off, AND to prevent it from tightening around the penis anywhere but as closest to the base of the penis as possible.
ReplyDeleteWell I guess I was wrong about the testicle thing. I can't imagine fitting both my balls thru a cock ring. Maybe I just have big balls. Either way...stick with rubber ones. Never had a prob cutting a rubber one off a patient. The metal is the problem
ReplyDelete-er doc
Eponine,
ReplyDeletethat's hot? No YOU r hot. Need more readers like you! Welcome to the blog!
-er doc
Oh. My. Could it be? i grew up even MORE overprotected than i thought i was and am s t i l l catching up at my ripe OLD age?
ReplyDeleteSighs.
Whatever your ER team is getting paid, it ain't enough.
ReplyDeleteWV: hygma. No comment.
Hopalong Ginsberg
He seemed to have enjoyed the icy episode! I thought cold is supposed to oppose the erection, but hey, to each their own. Poor intern.
ReplyDeleteAnd to think how envious i am, of med students and residents....
ReplyDeleteMale intern? Make sure to let him know he's no longer a virgin. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't you stop what you were doing when you saw that he was getting aroused? What was the reaction of the staff? I can't imagine that it was "hot" for them...
ReplyDeleteAnswers to questions:
ReplyDelete-Yes, male intern. I will fix that.
-We had to keep going even though he got hard b/c getting these metal cockrings off takes hours. Basically both we and he were at the point of no return. It was time to get it off even if it meant getting him off!
-ER Doc
Let's hope they don't show up again tonight with the same problem....
ReplyDeleteOMG, that is just wrong on so many levels! The joys of being an ER Doc..they don't pay you enough!
ReplyDeleteo.m.g. that poor intern. ew ew ew.
ReplyDeleteHello! Bolt cutters from the maintenance dept!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have a hard time believing the guy actually blew his load but it is an awesome story.
I think the interns ruined baby blue scrubs would beg to differ with you ERP, but I can understand your disbelief. It was pretty crazy. But we have patients that masturbate all the time in the ER and get off
ReplyDelete-ER Doc
OMG, pity the poor boyfriend who is NEVER going to be able to compete with this !!! Poor intern.
ReplyDeleteAs a med student I had the exact same situation. Solved the problem in 10 minutes. Went to maintenance, got bolt cutters, used pliable aluminum from finger splints to shove under ring and protect tissue, SNAP, SNAP, ring was gone. Nothing stands up the 3 foot long bolt cutters. Never waste time with lube, ice, etc. Just get to cutting.
ReplyDelete